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WATCH YOUR INNER VOICE:
Guidelines for Internal Dialogue
Marie Dalloway, Ph.D.
We all talk to ourselves, sometimes aloud, but usually silently. We give ourselves mental pats on the back, berate ourselves at times, and psych ourselves up for all sorts of situations. Staying cool under pressure allows for greater risk taking and for better performance in various fields including the business world. Changing self-talk changes stress level. Consistent application of certain guidelines creates new habits in inner dialogue, habits that reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety and that can help to control stress level, even in high-pressure situations.
Learning what champions tell themselves, how they perceive difficulties as challenging rather than fearful, can help the rest of us. Champions and peak performers have a mental edge. They perceive situations in ways which are different from the usual perceptions. That is one reason why they are champions. They see advantages when others see problems. They experience difficult and pressure-packed circumstances as challenging rather than as fearful.
Changing self-talk represents an important step toward learning how to deal with stress successfully. Self-talk helps to interpret the situations that are experienced. This means that self-talk can be used to re-interpret situations. When business people learn to follow specific guidelines for internal dialogue, they experience pressure situations as less stressful.
The methods for controlling internal dialogue come from understanding how champions talk to themselves. The analysis of the self-talk of champions form a set of guidelines. They describe how to alter your perceptions of a situation in an advantageous way.. The guidelines are divided into two parts, information about what to avoid in self-talk and instructions about what to include in self-talk.
GUIDELINES ABOUT SELF-TALK TO AVOID
Rule One: Avoid Thinking That Leads To Worry Or Anxiety
Individuals who perform inconsistently, especially those who perform poorly in the face of risk and pressure, have self-talk which is centered on being afraid (“I’m afraid of losing my position,” or, “I’m afraid of not getting the promotion I’m in line for,” or “I’m afraid of letting others down.”) or on doubting their ability (“I can’t do it,” “I haven’t had enough experience”). Such statements must be avoided. Statements of doubt or fear erode confidence and generate stress.
Rule Two: Avoid Thinking About Past Failures
Thinking about losses, poor showings, or mishaps from the past creates a negative thought process, one likely to create high stress. If you have a new project that is similar to a past business experience with a disappointing outcome, keep your mind away from replaying that past event.
This does not mean ignoring past experience. It is vital to process the lessons learned. Once that is done, move on with that information and experience. Reviewing past disappointments or failures as you embark on a new account or project charges the current event with stress and lowers the chance of your performing to your best level.
Rule Three: Avoid Thinking That Ties Self-worth to Performance
Avoid statements which imply that your self-esteem will be damaged by poor performance. Internal dialogue statements that indicate this error are ones such as, “If I lose this account, I’m not any good;” or “If I don’t meet the sales quota, I’ll feel worthless.” When someone has the attitude that winning is critical for maintaining self-esteem, the stakes are too high. Unnecessary stress is generated by this attitude.
Rule Four: Avoid Reviewing Negative Odds of Your Winning
Avoiding negative internal dialogue statements includes reviewing odds that are negative, a pitfall that catches many individuals. Often people do not consider this a negative mental habit. They view their self-talk as an objective appraisal of their chances of success. Considering odds of success frequently undermines confidence and produces higher levels of stress due to thinking that creates an expectation for losing.
This does not mean avoiding negative thinking about possible negative scenarios in the planning stages. At that stage, you project various scenarios and what ifs. Then once you decide on a course, a commitment is made.
Directly before or during a performance such as making a presentation, avoid thinking about the odds for success and rating or ranking yourself against others. Unless you know that you are going to come out with great odds for winning, avoid thoughts related to computing the odds for your success.
In addition to the avoidance guidelines, other rules for self-talk inform you about how to shape and direct your thoughts positively.
GUIDELINES ABOUT POSITIVE SELF-TALK TO INCORPORATE
To change internal dialogue, monitor what you say to yourself prior to important events. Internal dialogue follows patterns. Statements made are revealing about your feelings and perceptions about your success. Statements made in internal narrative become habitual. Unfortunately, routine statements frequently go unnoticed. The first step involves paying attention to inner dialogue, so you know what changes are needed.
As a general guideline for self-talk use two types of statements: encouraging statements and instructional statements that focus on skills. These, and only these types of statements are the content of the internal dialogue of champions during performances.
Encouraging statements bolster confidence. “You can do it,” “You’re good,” “You’re a champ,” are examples of this type of inner dialogue. Self-talk that focuses attention on performance skills provides the other positive form of internal dialogue. A race car driver might say to herself, “Stay focused,” “Get into position,” and “Tight turns.”
SUMMARY
Individuals in high-pressure, high-demand positions cannot avoid stress. Likewise, athletes in high-risk sports, such as race car driving and high-altitude climbing, court the pressures from life-jeopardizing situations that are beyond the tolerance of most individuals. Pressure is part of the fabric of high-risk sports.
Manageable levels of stress add spice and excitement to the life. Changing self-talk changes stress level because self-talk interprets and shapes the experience. Consistent application of these guidelines creates new habits in inner dialogue, habits that reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety and that give individuals control over performance anxiety, even in high-pressure situations.
*MNL Note: You can learn more about Marie's self help guided imagery products here:
Stress Buster Audio Downloads
Performance Media Books
Stress Vacation CDs
Marie Dalloway, Ph.D. is President of Performance Media® LLC in Phoenix, Arizona. Performance Media specializes in stress management solutions, products, and training. For more information, contact us at 602-274-1889 or by email at dalloway@performance-media.com
Copyright © 2006 Marie Dalloway. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of this article is expressly prohibited without prior consent from Performance Media. Performance Media® is a registered trademark of Performance Media LLC.
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